Saturday, March 12, 2005

In Defense of the Unreal

I am not going to defend my addiction.

Okay, so maybe I am.

But first, would someone please explain the appeal of reality shows. Where's the escape? Where's the fantasy? There's too much real in reality.

I prefer unreality.

Hence, the soaps.

Defense rests.

So... movies I have seen lately, someone asks. Wedding Date.

While you're at the reality explanation, can someone please explain why that movie was so bad? I wanted it to be great. I would have settled for good. But it didn't even reach that level.

Great hook, great stars, lots of comic potential. So wha' happened?

I'm hoping the total dudsville that it was had nothing to do with the fact that I saw it in Florida with my parents.

Now I love my parents. But my Dad can no longer eat popcorn, therefore, evidently, I can no longer eat it.

Not sure I understand the connection between the two. I mean our stomachs are not linked in any way (that I know of). Nevertheless I was NOT allowed to have popcorn.

Do I sound bitter? Childish? popcorn.

BUT, whatever my mother is, was, or will be, no one can ever say she doesn't come prepared with snacks.

In this case, pretzels. A perfectly fine, salty, non-popcorn food loosely thrown by generous handfuls into a grocery bag.

Do you know that crinkly, scratchy, rustling sound a grocery bag makes when someone is rooting around inside?

The ENTIRE moveie.

Can I say it once more?

The ENTIRE movie.

So. Wedding Date. Not my finest cinematic experience. Do I blame it on the dirctor? The screenwriter? Debra? Or the pretzels...

A mystery for the ages.

And as long as we're talking mysteries--why does anyone change their mind about anyone?

My hero has to change his mind about the heroine, go from doubt to belief. Yes, she saves his butt, but she saved it before. No, the evidence against her has not suddenly disappeared. But he has to make that turn.

Why, I ask myself (musical crescendo) Why, why, why?

(small voice squeaking inside head: because you need him to, fool, not a very good reason)

(please...everyone...ignore that small voice)

If somone can answer that quesion (someone beside that small voice), my editer will be eternally grateful. Not to mention me.

Signing off to plunge into my own unreality.


Michelle said...

Annie... there is nothing "real" about reality shows -- at least the good ones, anyhow. Come on: Survivor is a bunch of character stereotypes (the "jock", the "amiable teacher", the "cheerleader", the "gay guy") put in unrealistic situations for a monetary prize. It's all about conflict, conflict, conflict. Just like a good novel!

Michelle ;-)

Irysangel said...

I feel your pain.

I wanted to love the film version of Phantom of the Opera.

But I can't.

As for your character, er, maybe she does something different, like says something profound that just came out of his mouth five minutes ago, and he has to do a double-take. Did that make sense? At any rate, it'd be something that would make me pause and think about the person saying it. :) I'm sure that was completely un-helpful, but there it is!