Friday, November 18, 2005


I had a near-death experience this week when I received the revision letter from my editor for my next book, "YOUR BED OR MINE?." I had opened the e-mail with the subject line: "Revision Letter," hit print, and when the printer info box thingy popped up and said "Printing Page 1 of 4000 pages," I passed out cold.

Seriously. Passed Out. Fell Backwards. Landed flat of my back on the floor in my office.

As I was lying there, hovering between this world and the next, and knowing I preferred death to the revisions awaiting me, a loud voice boomed "WAKE UP CANDY HALLIDAY!"

My revision-weary spirit left my body and moved toward the light.

"God?" I called out. 


It was hunky Ty Pennington with his megaphone to his lips!

The design team was standing beside him, cheering and clapping. Paul gave me a big hug. Paige and Tanya had tears of joy in their eyes. Michael (I adore Michael) leaned over and kissed my cheek.

Ty put a supportive arm around my shoulder and said, "Candy, we know you were hoping you wouldn't receive those revisions until after Thanksgiving. That you really wanted to eat Thanksgiving dinner with your family this year."

"Yes," I sniffed.  "Yes, Ty.  That's so true."

Ty put his megaphone to his lips again and yelled, "DESIGN TEAM, ARE WE READY TO GIVE CANDY'S MANUSCRIPT AN EXTREME MAKEOVER?"

The design team yelled back, "YES, WE ARE!"

Holy megaphony! I wouldn't be spending Thanksgiving alone in front of my computer, after all. My family and I were going to Disneyworld! And when I returned, all I had to do was yell, 'MOVE THAT MOUSE!" and my revised manuscript would pop up on my computer screen, I could print it out, and zip it off over-night mail to my editor!

I really HAD died and gone to Heaven.

Or, had I?

As a test, I opened my eyes to find out.

Crap! No Ty. No design team. No Disneyworld. And worst of all, no extreme makeover for my manuscript. :(

Another voice said, "Is there any particular reason why you're lying in the floor?"

"Yes," I said, turning my head toward my just-got-home husband who was now standing in the doorway to my office. "Revisions suck. Ty Pennington isn't going to give my manuscript an extreme makeover. And we aren't going to Disneyworld."

Should I be concerned he didn't think that was a strange response coming from me?

Eat a big turkey leg for me. :)

Candy Halliday       

1 comment:

Michelle Rowen said...

Candy... that was a hilarious post. And oh-so-true. Good luck with your revisions, not that you need it!