Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Squirrel Wars

He, or she, is back. I don’t know and don’t care if it’s male or female, but that dang squirrel has got to go!

The squirrel started it. If it would stay out of my birdfeeder I wouldn’t have had to declare war. Granted, it’s winning several battles, but I intend to prevail.

Sure, I could end it all by taking down the feeder but with winter coming on, I’d prefer not to. The feeder is on the deck where I can see it out the patio door, and besides the juncos and sparrows and finches that brave our Wisconsin winter, so do the cardinals and blue jays. The feeder stays.

Naturally, I’ve tried chasing it out whenever I spot it. Every so often it gets sneaky and tries to hide on the other side of the feeder (yes, it’s a Big feeder), but I can spot a flickering squirrel tail from forty feet away. At first, it would respond if I rapped on the patio door. Now it just sits there and looks at me until I actually open the door and go out on the deck. It knows that soon several inches of snow will prevent me from chasing it in my sock-covered feet. Ever see a squirrel with an evil grin?

Did you know that there’s bird food on the market that claims squirrels won’t eat it because it’s coated with something nasty that birds don’t mind? Ha! This squirrel didn’t read the company’s guarantee because the nasty coating didn’t bother it one bit. It just sat there and munched away, keeping the birds from getting into the feeder and driving me crazy.

I even tried to accommodate the beast by getting it a squirrel feeder, filling it with yummy corn kernels (I don’t even make it gnaw the corn off the cob!) delectable sunflower seeds (in the shell, I’m not that desperate yet) and tantalizing peanuts (also in the shell, see above). The little monster loves the peanuts, likes the sunflower seeds, and tosses the corn kernels on the ground. Talk about ungrateful!

My husband has promised to stop at his parents’ home on his way home from work to borrow a live trap. Said fuzzy-tailed nemesis is about to move far, far, far away.

I’ve heard of abandoned dogs finding their way home. A squirrel can’t do the same, can it?

Shari Anton, obviously procrastinating from working on TWILIGHT MAGIC

www.sharianton.com         MIDNIGHT MAGIC, December 2005

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