Saturday, June 03, 2006

The Un-Wedding Ring by Diana Holquist

Okay, I wrote a book. Apparently, that was the easy part.

Now I have to promote the thing. In the romance universe, as we all know, this means sponsoring a contest on my web site. The book is about gypsies, so why not give away some authentic gypsy jewelry, some well-meaning soul suggests.

Why not?

So, if you wanted "authentic" gypsy jewelry, wouldn't you go straight to e-bay too? And if you discovered 47 "authentic" gypsy adornments, wouldn't your eye be drawn to the ones with the most bids? You know, the haunted jewelry--the magic stuff?

Yes, haunted. Authentic gypsies apparently cast spells on this stuff--spells that gave each piece its own magic power. "Magick" power, actually. I'm not sure the difference. One bracelet let you talk to fairies. A necklace promised the wearer fame. And then, there was the ring that promised to find the wearer her soulmate--her One True Love on earth as Destined by fate--EXACTLY what my book, Make Me a Match, is about.

So, here's the million dollar question: if I give away a Romanian gypsy witch ring on my site that promises to give the wearer her soulmate, what exactly am I saying? Am I endorsing the power of the ring?

The bidding on the soulmate ring went into the last nail-biting seconds. I was beside myself with glee when I won it. Until my husband walked in, looked at my computer monitor, and asked, "what's that?"

"Oh, it's the haunted gypsy witch ring I bought on e-bay that will finally find me my One True Love."

This is not the sort of thing one ought to say to one's husband.

I explained the web site. My husband nodded as if this made sense. He is trying very hard to be supportive. (True Love, right?)

So, can I ethically put up the information I "know" about this ring--the promise of the spell? At the bottom of the e-bay auction, the seller writes, "I assume no responsibility for any paranormal activity you may or may not experience in association with this ring." But potential buyers ask questions like, "will the magic still work if I re-size the ring?" How would I answer a question like this?

My daughter assures me there is no problem. We'll get the ring and we'll test it. If it finds me my soulmate, then it works and we can give it away.

You're darn right we'll give it away. Toss it in a ditch. Throw it in a river. What, I want to ask her, will we do if that soulmate isn't your daddy, hon? Ready for that little adventure? But in her world, daddies are the soulmates of mommies and all is well.

"Why don't you wear it and find your soulmate?" I challenge.

"EWWWW," she responds. "What if it's a boy?"

Ah, True Love. Complications abound.

So, we decide to test the ring. I wear it to the grocery store. Suddenly, I am no longer shopping for broccoli. Look at him! Check out that one! Oh, no, he's a stinker, run!

Okay, I gotta get rid of this ring.

On the website? What do you think?


Elizabeth Hoyt said...

Okay, this probably highlights my sad fibbing psyche, but my first thought was that if it was me I would've bought a ring and SAID it had a spell on it. Obviously, you are a far nicer--and more truthful person--than me, Diana!

I think you should stipulate that whomever wins the ring has to report back on finding their True Love. 'Course if their True Love turns out to already be married or, say, 90 years old, you may not want to hear about it . . .

Diana Holquist said...


You're the honest one. No one but an honest person would admit that they would have lied.

I love the idea of people reporting back...

Maybe they have to give the ring back too, or pass it on...


Diana Holquist said...

Ring Update!!!!

Sept 5, 2006.

I decided to post the ring. Read all about it and see it on my website Enter to win it! Then report back to me....