Wednesday, April 18, 2007

FOR BETTER OR FOR WORSE

My husband called me at work a couple of weeks ago, and his first words were, "Unless I wait until June, the only day the doctor can schedule my endoscopy and colonoscopy is on April 18th."

April 18th.

Today.

Our 20th wedding anniversary.

My first thought was - if this isn't poetic justice, I don't know what could be. I'd been begging him for months, you see, to have both procedures done. Well, let me rephrase that - I'd been NAGGING him for months to do this. 

Sadly, my husband has lost both of his parents within the last three years to cancer. And you know how we wives can be. I wanted him tested, and I wanted him tested as soon as possible! I just didn't expect to spend my 20th wedding anniversary with him sitting on the toilet all morning, and me sitting in a hospital waiting room all afternoon while he had the procedures done.

"Schedule the appointment," I told him as the words "for better or for worse" flashed through my mind.

"Did you hear what I said?" he asked, obviously surprised at my response. "April 18th. Doesn't that date ring a bell?"

"Of course I know what April 18th is," I told him. "Not everyone is lucky enough to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. But I did. And I intend to annoy you for twenty more years if possible. Take the damn appointment!"

So here I sit this morning, locked away in my office so I can't hear him cursing me as he drinks gallons of the yucky muck needed for the procedure later today. And instead of bemoaning the fact that I had to cancel the reservations at our favorite restaurant tonight (since his throat is going to be too sore to eat anything solid) I'm trying to decide if candlelight will be a bit much for the bowl of broth I intend to serve him later tonight in celebration of our twenty years together.

And though I'm putting on a brave front for him, I'm secretly scared to death, and I'm actively practicing the "laws of attraction" I learned by reading the hot bestseller "The Secret" - sending out only positive thoughts so we'll get positive results back from his tests. And I'm going to tell him later (after he gets over being pissed at me for making him do this) that the absolute best twentieth wedding present he could ever give me is peace of mind knowing he's okay.

For better or for worse - that's what I signed up for exactly twenty years ago today.

Please keep us in your prayers that the news we get after the tests are done is going to be "For Better" - and hopefully for another happy twenty years together.

Candy Halliday

10 comments:

amy rue said...

Dear Candy,
First, congratulations on your 20th anniversary!

I was lucky enough to just celebrate my 10th anniversary with my husband.

Extremely lucky to celebrate it, really, because just 18 months before, at age 32, my husband was diagnosed with gastro-esophageal cancer. No risk factors, other than being male.

Now, after surgery to remove half of his esophagus, and half of his stomach he has an endoscopy about every three months to make sure the cancer has not returned.

We've been lucky so far. He is beating the odds.

I wanted to write and give you a pat on the back. Nagging your husband to do these tests is one of the best gifts you could give him.

And maybe it will inspire someone else to get the tests done!

Congratulations in advance on your next twenty years!

-amy rue
amy@amyrue.com

Lois said...

Awww. . . at least he went! I hear plenty of stories about men and tests and what have you. :) Makes the time I had finals on my birthday a few years ago look like nothing. LOL :)

Lois

Shari Anton said...

Happy Anniversary, Candy!! Okay, maybe the test could have happened on a better day, but what an excellent present. Hang in there! Positive vibes headed your way for anxiety relieving results!
Shari

Candy Halliday said...

Amy:

Big hugs for all you and your hubby have been through - and SO glad he's healthy and doing well now!

Good news for me - no cancer but my husband did have scar tissue at the base of the esophagus that has caused a "stricture" so his esophagus had to be enlarged and he'll have to be on acid reflux meds for the rest of his life.

We both have so much to be thankful for, don't we?

Candy

Candy Halliday said...

Lois:

You're right.

So many times men can be SO stubborn!

At least I know there are no major concerns now - THANK GOD!

Candy

Candy Halliday said...

Shari:

Thanks for the positve vibes!

THEY WORKED - YAY!

Candy

Babe King said...

Awh, that's sweet in a disgusting kinda way. At least he remembered your day and cared enough to ask you. My d/h forgot on our 20th anniversary and booked himself to do a free lecture to a roomful of sweet, young things. I was impressed. Not. But like you said, for better or worse....

Happy anniversary.

Candy Halliday said...

Babe:

For your next anniversary maybe you should schedule your husband to have a surprise colonoscopy.

That'll teach him to forget your anniversary! :)

Candy

Anonymous said...

Oh, Candy. I'm coming late to this blog--so I'm so glad everything is okay. I think that's an incredibly romantic way to spend your anniversary...

Hmm...I feel a story coming on...

--Diana Holquist
Make Me a Match, in stores now
Sexiest Man Alive, coming Oct. 07

bettye griffin said...

Glad to hear everything turned out well. And I think you did the right thing, anniversary or not. But maybe next year you can remind him in February to make his appointment for him . . . for sometime in March!