Sunday, June 03, 2007

Judge a Book by Its Cover at Your Peril! by Diana Holquist

I'm mad. Stinkin' mad.

I don't usually get the chance to spend money wantonly in bookstores. But my husband is la-la-ing off to Europe and leaving me for SIX WEEKS with THE CHILDREN who have only TEN DAYS left of school (sorry for shouting...I'm a little tense here). So it was perfectly rational to get a little reckless.

I bought a very reasonable armload (wheel-barrow-load, whatever) of romance novels. Yummy.

And then I thought, why not splurge on a trade paperback? We're talking fifteen bucks here folks. I went for the new Irvine Welsh, The Bedroom Secrets of the Master Chefs. I love Irvine Welsh. I love bedroom secrets. I love master chefs. What could go wrong?

Got to page 131 and I threw it at the wall. Threw it. At. The. Wall. (Those trade paperbacks make a nice, satisfying thud as they hit.)

WTF?!? (Sorry for cursing. Did I mention dh was out of country/kids almost out of school?) First--no bedroom secrets. I wanted bedroom secrets, durnit. Second--no chefs. Third--don't you HATE it when a book is moving along and then suddenly, on page 132 it takes a weirdo-paranormal turn?

Hey, I write paranormal. I love paranormal. But I foreshadow. I put it on the back cover copy. You know what you're getting. And I certainly don't wait for page 131 and then drop it on the reader. Bleh.

Bedroom Secrets of the Master Chefs indeed.

Good thing I have that wheelbarrow full of romance novels.

Have you ever picked up a book and it wasn't what you expected? Want to come over and rant with me? You bring the wine.

--Diana Holquist
Make Me a Match, in stores now
Sexiest Man Alive, Coming Oct 2007
Watch my newest Book Trailer Video, Why The Sexiest Man Alive Has No Head


Beverly Bartlett said...

Oh yeah... This makes me so mad! Although I will say that movies are even worse. I rented a movie once that said something on the front like: "laugh out loud funny." And I am here to tell you that this movie was not a comedy.

I don't mean that I personally did not find it all that amusing. I mean there was not one thing about it that suggested that it was supposed to be humorous. It was a depressing story about someone who had cancer or something.

I can't remember the details now, but it had a star in it that had become famous for doing comedy and I think they just thought: "maybe we can get some of his fans to rent this if they think it's like his other work."

I don't know, but there's nothing like watching someone battle cancer for two hours all the while thinking: "When's the funny part going to get here?"

Diana Holquist said...

Yikes. Someone once told me that they don't care if you like the movie--just that you buy a ticket.

It's so cynical!

That's why I love my romance novels...